This is for the ones who stay

6/22/25

Lighthouse.  Water.  Birds.  

Salty air.  A bit of wind.  Blazing sun.

This is what I am waking to this day.  Each element speaks to me.  The earth beneath my feet is sandy, soft, pliable.  I leave imprints as I walk.  Imprints that are washed or blown away. 

 What is a temporary imprint?  We are temporary imprints.  

We cannot ignore our imprint during the time we inhabit this body.  And at the same time we can't become obsessively attached either. Too attached can look like hyperfixating and over  consideration OR it can look like being completely dismissive.  Too much doing, not enough doing. A triggered or restless ego seeks to control or avoid.  But a blanched ego understands the truth in it all.  

• Has clarity without attachment.  

• Finds discernment with ease.   

• Allows for contradictions to co-exist .  

Mostly what I see from my perch at the oceans edge is a human world tipped ludicrously out of balance.  And that means that “we” are out of balance.  And if we are out of balance that means you are out of balance. That means I am out of balance.  The willingness to reflect upon personal responsibility, to look inward and do the work, is vital at this moment.  Our literal lives depend on it.  We have allowed ourselves to become machinized, with buttons that can be pushed.  

• Push this button and I am triggered into defensiveness, 

• push this one and I am triggered into righteousness, 

• push this one and i am triggered into apathy, 

• push this one and I am pushed into denial.  

Sitting with this observation, 

Staying,

Is enough for right now.  Just noticing “how am I out of balance”.  To linger in noticing. And in this lingering, to allow for the course correct we might not even realize we need.

As I peruse the landscape of social media banter, I see a landscape that reveals and reflects an ever expanding sea of judgement.  A turbulent , finger pointing, agitated energy where lies become truths and truths become lies.  Where humor becomes toxic and kindness is weaponized.   Where righteousness rules the day.

“Wake up” says a friend in the middle to a friend on the left.  “Pay attention” says a friend on the right to a friend on the left.  “Do your research” says a friend on the left to a friend in the middle.  It never ends.  Everyone accusing everyone else of being brainwashed, biased, unknowing. 

So much blame to go around.  So much science. And history.  And philosophy.  And belief. And opinion. And education. And ignorance.  And indoctrination.  And information. And misinformation.  

Everyone thinks they know.  

Rather than stand in righteousness, I long to be Under the standing.  To  understand. To subvert the “Knowing” and to turn it upside down. To compost my opinions and thoughts.  To be fertilized for something else. 

For not knowing.

The world itself  is beyond one logic yet we continue to attempt to logic our way through it all. 

Activate other sensory ways of moving forward.  Dance our way through it all. Love our way through it all.  Sing our way through it all. 

I don't believe in perpetuating lies. But I’m not sure perpetuating a truth is that much better.  I want to perpetuate curiosity, which is stranger than both and has no agenda other than to remain curious.

These are questions I’m sitting with. Not answers I have.  Not declarations I’m making.  

So how do we create something generative in a world teetering on the edge of destruction?

Perhaps it is to free fall into the cracks themselves.   Explore the ruptures like an underwater diver.  Wander the senses, the chasms and the in between. 

Because this train, these current  tracks… whichever options you align yourself with…

Right, left, middle,

good, bad, 

truth, lie,  

All of the above

None of the above

We know where they lead. And it is always back to here.  This point in time and history.  Exactly where we are now.

So I’m working on getting off this train.  And maybe I’ll have to just jump. 

Not as escapism. Not through psychedelics. Not to be bold or different. 

And not in isolation.  

But with others. Curious creatures that we are.  Eyes, ears, nose, mouth wide open.  

Let's keep each other company.  And definitely lets not aim to arrive.  

These are the wandering tribes I wish to create and connect with.  

Right now, a small group of black birds (grackles?)  have descended.  I witness them.  Theres about eight of them at the water's edge.  They seem to be searching for food.  They meander in a small but spread out grouping slowly traveling down the beach.  

Some fly away.  

Some arrive. 

Others circle  back. 

A rare few actually stay.

The ones who seem content to be where they are.

Who leaves?  Who returns? What is the right action?  Maybe the point is just to stay.  

What happens when you Stay?

This is for the ones who stay.